28: Looking beyond the Number

 Whoa! Tick tock, tick tock said the biological clock! Most of us, including myself, is so alarmed when we hit this age! It's 18 and a decade! Have we (or I) done enough to tap our back, breathe in and tell ourselves we've done the most righteous thing for someone living in this era?

This segment is all about me, how I did in the past 27 years and how I am continuing my learning curve. Don't expect a lot, but I hope I can leave some learning as I do this.

I have always viewed life as tough and unpredictable. Let's say, I began to realize things later than earlier. I used to blame other people and circumstances as hindrances on my plans. I even reached a point when I asked the Big Man up there, why things do not fall into place - the way I expected them to be.

I finished school with flying colors. An achiever, an inspiration to many, expected to rise above others. (Or maybe it was just me?) After college, I passed the professional exam and international English test in just one take, with higher than average results.

See? I am supposed to be bound on better, more glorious future. But that did not happen (yet). I did my best in every way possible. I excelled on matters I put my energy into. However, because of my negative perspective and pessimistic attitude, it was so difficult for me to live a grateful, contented life. I used to focus on the not so good side of my day, only looking forward to some days I am with people I am happy to be with.

Nevertheless, I continued living my almost frustrating misery. 'This, too, shall pass" became my mantra.

As I turn 28, my life isn't still taking a full leap. So don't expect a Cinderella-like ending here. 😄 I am still climbing my way every single day. Nevertheless, certain things have changed through the years.

In 2013, at an age of 25, I decided to work in other countries and leave my comfort zone. A late bloomer as others call it. Starting when everybody else's already enjoying the fruit of their labor. I have worked in different industries in the past, and, this time, I want to focus on my profession. Something I have delayed for years that I almost forgot it. Working abroad is my escape.

This decision changed my point of view. I don't know if it's the culture, the circumstances or it really comes with age, but I am thankful that it happened.

Through the years, I have realized that I have no one to blame of my fortunes and misfortunes but myself. God, my parents, and friends will always want the best for me. It is I who would decide which best option to take. Looking back, there was never a time that my parents stopped me from doing the things I did. They would always support me even if it would cause them a lot. Something I haven't thought enough earlier, when I was still living at home, with them.

Partly, it is when I left the comforts of my home that I began to realize the things that truly makes life worth living. That, it is not the big things that determine happiness, but the little gestures of kindness and love.

Lately, through some good, old friends, I have known communities that helped me see life's journey in a more positive note. If I used to just ask and ask, and seldom give nor thank, now, I am turning over a new leaf. Believe it or not, tithing has been a part of my budget. I'm happier to be in the giving, and not on the receiving, end. I love the sound of "thank you" and "I love it" whenever I give people simple things. And hear this! I am excited with the idea of having a charity event organized when I get to come home next year. Also, I am planning to give first aid supplies in one monastery that I used to visit in our place. Again, I don't know if this comes with age. Nevertheless, this is going to be exciting! 

Let me just reiterate, I am not living a life to envy with, nor I am having things that people dream of! Most of the time, I am struggling to make both ends meet. Luckily, I am doing a better job of making these ends meet. I have learned the value of money, saving, and investing a part of it. Truly, it is not how much you make, but how you spend the least amount you have that matters. Let's just say, I am earning the minimum wage where I am working, but I am happy to say that I have kept a part of it every payday for saving and investing. It was a challenge at first, but it is rewarding in the long run.

I have learned to appreciate financial literacy books lately. From fiction novels, a big switch to millionaires 101! Their stories of humble beginnings and step by step climb to the top are just so inspiring! Sometimes, I think of doing it myself! Just imagine how cool my milestones would be if I reach what they've accomplished. And I am hopeful, I'll be like them, too! (That's my secret birthday wish actually! ^^)

So much has happened in the 27 years of my existence! And so much more will come as I enter my 28th year! Looking back, I am grateful for the good and the not so good that has happened to me, the glorious and embarrassing, the ups and the downs, the regrets and decisions made, the learnings and unlearning, the new knowledge and those that I should forget, the stagnant days and the busy ones, the laughter and the tears, the worst and the best days of my life, so far!

It is true that you'll never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. At this point, I can say that I am a better person than in the past. Or this is what I am trying to achieve. Hopefully, I will continue to widen my horizon and open my mind to inevitable changes. I hope my dreams and prayers are aligned to what God has planned for me.

Hear my birthday prayers of love and prosperity, oh, Lord! Your teachings and stories make me a better version of me. I am far from my goal self, I have so much to learn and know, but I am not giving up! Honestly, I am excited and looking forward to the days that will come. As long as You are on my side. I am holding on to your words - that everything is made possible in your time. Hopefully, I am on the right track! Slowly, I am on my way to being the person You want me to be. Thanks to You!

Bring it on 28th! You gotta be good to me! Or better yet, be exciting! 

Keep Fighting!

Got a piece of paper,

With nothing in mind to write.

All I know, I want to feel better,

and make this day seem right.

The world is revolving, continuing

though I am beaten and aching.

Hope sets on me, keeps on reminding,

That, 'Hey, this is not your ending!'

Looking at people, I realize,

We all walk different paces and strides.

Some earn the stars fast and easy,

while others need to struggle just to break free.

I, myself, seems nowhere today.

Everything seems blurry and gray.

While others explore the vast world,

Here I am, isolated in a tiny space - curled.

Yet hope is there for me to believe

that this is not all that I am to live.

Where I am is just a detour.

When my life blooms, I'll reach greater heights for sure.

Just hold and make the most of it.

Learn life's lessons, never falter a bit.

This is a time to realize that I am blessed.

That He is with me, even if I'm stressed.

Though these days everything seems rough,

I'll get by coz I was born tough.

It's not easy to stay calm and focus,

but that's the mindset I consciously choose.

Believe that you can, and that, you will.

Be of courage, and do what you wrote.

Aim for the stars, and make the best deal.

Coz no matter what, there is hope.

Just like a bamboo tree, I often thought.

In the first few years, though it shows no growth.

Be patient and keep on working,

the roots' growing, soon the stems' shooting.

Train your mind to think positive,

even in times of struggling and too many negatives

When a new chapter unfolds, you'll be grateful you did.

Coz in the end, those who keep fighting, succeeds.

-07292015

10 Things To Do in Your 20's That Your Future Self Will Thank You For

"YOLO-ing" has always been the topic when you reach your 20's. 

Of course, 20's spells F-R-E-E-D-O-M for most of us! This is the time when you finish college, find a decent and well-paying job, establish yourself and begin to get a life of your own. Hitting your 20th birthday is like graduating from teenhood and entering a new stage where you are permitted to do all (as long as you abide by the law) the crazy, adventurous stuffs that you have always dreamt of doing.

But here's a fact: Your journey from age 20 to age 30 will pass by swiftly. It's like having a time machine of your own, in a blink, you can go fast-forward, but the downside is-you can never go back in lost time.

But when spent well, it's not always a time wasted. It may come and go fast, but you can ride the flow if you consider doing things in your 20's that your future self will thank you for.

1. Quit your Job if you must.

Shocking as it may seem but you're too young to keep a job you don't feel like doing. You're just beginning to explore the world of the employed, no one will ever tell you that you'll regret quitting your job. Who knows, better things will come after that one big leap. 

Find your place in this fast-changing world, but never be too satisfied to settle into something that is just "okay". After all, you're only in your 20's, you still have a long way to go.

2. Enhance your inner passion.

Do the thing that you love and you'll never work a day in your lifetime.

Ask yourself what you really love to do. Is it in line with your profession? Can you turn your passion into business? Or is it something that may help other people?

In our early age, we tend to put this passion aside because we focus on the things that can help us graduate school. We think it's just a past time that we love doing when we get bored or emotional. But most of the time, this passion is the thing that we love doing the most, maybe that's why we turn onto it when we feel like not doing a thing. So now is the time to hone it. Let that special skill you possess bring joy into your 20's and ahead.

3. Stay fit and healthy.

Health is wealth. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, etcetera etcetera.  The bottom point of all these reminders is to keep your body healthy at all times.

Exercise, drink plenty of water, avoid too much sweet and salty food, eat fruits and veggies more than meat, and the list can go a long way. Tips and tricks are posted everywhere. Even the government nowadays is promoting healthy living among its people. Do it not only to have that body to die for, more importantly, achieve a healthier you for you to enjoy long years of your life. I'm sure you still would want to dance and play with your grandchildren even in your 50's.

4. Be a volunteer.

If you haven't done this earlier, better do it now. You can join the nearest volunteer club within your community or you can go as far as volunteering to other countries. The world needs a lot of helpful, strong, young individuals who are willing to devote a part of their time to the betterment of humanity. Be that person!

In the long run, you do not only help other people, you are also developing character. It is in spending time with the less privileged that you see how the world really works. In fact, through volunteering, you get the chance to know more about other people, their day to day life and their survival skills. It is a humbling experience that will mold you into a better person. You'll come out of the experience more compassionate, more driven and more thankful that despite your shortcomings, you live a more well-off life than the rest of them.

5. Create memories.

Sometimes, we get too busy growing up that we forget, especially our parents, are also growing old.

This is a sad reality that many young adults neglect. We are too focused with creating money and making our bank accounts so fat that we forget who it is really for. Take for instance, those who work abroad for their families. As much as we would want to save and bring home more cash, we end up working for 5 or more years without going home. And when you finally get to come home, you see your aging parents almost not able to walk, or worse, can't remember your name or who you are. Heartbreaking, isn't it?

Don't let this happen to you. Give your family a part of your time. You just don't know how happy your parents will be if you pay them a visit with or without an occasion.

Also create memories by spending more time with the people that matters to you most other than your family. It doesn't always have to be an expensive getaway with friends. Memories are formed not by the place you go to, but with the people you spend your time with. Surprise your best friend on her birthday, send a bouquet of flowers to your cousin who just gave birth, treat your niece to an amusement park when she gets an A in school, buy your nephews a box of pizza when they behaved well during a  mass and eat with them. It's the sound of laughter, exchange of ideas and sincere touch that makes a day more memorable than yesterday. Make that day count and never delay it!

6. Start to fill in those bucket lists.

Is it a trip to Maldives, bungee jumping in Thailand, mountain climbing in Nepal, Air balloon watching in Turkey? How about a European Tour or close encounter with the elephants in some desert safari?

All of us has that one dream that we often go back to, don't just make it your dream- find ways to make it happen. Though it may cost you some cash, save and plan for it. Take the cheapest, most practical route. It will still be a blast no matter which way you take in checking that one dream off your bucket list.

7. Build healthy relationships.

Yeah, you're at your 20's and there's nothing to be afraid of. You can always press restart and do it all over again. But a broken trust, hurt feelings and disappointed loved one cannot be undone.

Build healthy and lasting relationships with the people that surrounds you.

You don't have to befriend everyone in your office, but make an effort to be acquainted with the people you spend most of your day with. Leave a good impression, smile and greet people as they come, be accommodating and earn the respect of your colleagues. In this way, you give them the feeling that you're nice and friendly.

Moreover, widen your connections. Be with people whom you can learn a lot with. Be eager to listen and acquire ideas whenever possible. 

The best relationships do not happen over night, it is in short, and frequent interactions that camaraderie is built and tested. Make each encounter an impressive one.

8. Save a part of your salary.

We tend to splurge and pamper ourselves a lot when we first receive our paycheck, thinking that next month, we'll be receiving another fat amount. We can't resists red tags and all season sales. I know, a new pair of shoes, an elegant dress or a branded bag can give a different boost in your confidence. Who wouldn't like to look and feel good at the same time, right?

However, those stuffs wouldn't last forever. If you won't discipline yourself, you'll end up buying more next time. How about delaying the gratification and be contented with what you have. You can save a lot if you stop going to the mall every time there's a sale.

Ever heard of the 70-20-10 Rule? That is, live in 70% of your income, save 20% of it and share the remaining 10% to others. It will be a challenge in the beginning, but definitely your future self will thank you for doing this earlier in your 20's.

9. Invest.

I'm too young for that, and my salary will not permit me, says many. But do you know that as little as Php 5000 you can start investing in the stock market? Surprising, right?

The amount you get every month no matter how small it is, is not a hindrance to investing. Remember, it's not how much you make, it is where your money goes. Start saving a piece of your salary and eventually investing it. There are a lot of investment vehicles that you can choose from depending on your risk appetite. Educate yourself about your options, approach the right people, ask questions and research about your choices. Make it a goal to invest and grow your investment before hitting the big 3.

In your 20's, the amount may not show a lot of progress, but in the long term you'll give yourself the best gift of having money work for you, instead of you working for it.

10. Start preparing for your retirement.

You read it right! Start preparing for your retirement. Not only financially, but also emotionally, physically and spiritually.

The investment that you make in your 20's will surely give you peace and quiet when you hit retirement age. Think of compounding interests working for your benefit. For most investment vehicles, your money can go double, triple or even multiply 10 times when you stick with it in the long term.

The things that we discussed from #1-9 will actually help you prepare for retirement.

 Everything we are doing in our early stage of life will determine how our retirement age will be. Make every year count.

No matter how fast or slow your 20's will past, consider the things that your future self will thank you for! 

When You Are Not 100% OK Today

Admit it! There are days when you're not 100% of your 'okay' self. Sometimes, it goes more than 100 percent if you're lucky. However, as much as we wanted to keep the best of us, on some days we're having a heavy heart, until the perfect score becomes 99, 98, 97 and goes down lower and lower.

So what do you do when this happens? How do you feel about not feeling 100% okay? Admit it or not, this has happened to you many times before. Some maybe unnoticeable, minimal drop of percentage, but there are days when even the person 10 meters away from you would notice.

Feeling not 100% okay will surely affect you, and the people you work with. Tantrums, impatience, sudden outburst, or pure laziness will take over in just a tick of the clock.

But hey! Just like what strong modern women would always do - fight and win!

Yes, don't let it call the shots! Mind over matter, remember?

First and foremost, acknowledge your feeling. Among the people in the crowd, you'll be the first person to notice the difference of your yesterday and today.

Take a minute or two to embrace how you feel, and examine why you're having this emotion. Is it because of a friend who hurt you? Your parents for not allowing you to do something you always wanted? Your boyfriend for disappointing you several times this week? Or something dreadful and unexpected?

No matter what the cause is, validate the feeling and acknowledge the fact that this really happens.

The question now is, would you settle for this unwanted emotion all throughout the day? Of course, not! So wake up, get up and show the world what you've got!

After acknowledging your feeling, and knowing the cause of it, think of the worst that might happen to you if you continue nursing this emotion. A. You can't meet a deadline. B. You won't enjoy today's blessings. C. You'll break a promise you made for a friend. So, choose, lying in bed and feeling not okay for the rest of the day? Or going on and little by little making today better?

What I'm trying to say is, work your way out of the worst that can happen to you. It does not have to be a very major step, at least, take an effort to distract yourself from not feeling 100% okay.

When you feel not so good about yourself, try some of these little acts of kindness.

•  How about greeting the people you see on your way to your office. Say good morning with a wide smile. You didn't just brighten up somebody's day, but you also exercised a muscle in your face. Sounds helpful, right? 
• Give a little kid a piece of chocolate, or balloon when you see one. A child's smile and happiness are just so true that it will surely radiate to you. 
• If you feel not okay because of your finances, share some of your coins to the next beggar you see, buy some bread for a street child or offer an old man sitting next you to pay his bus fare. Maybe you'll wonder why you'll do this when you yourself is having financial burden. Actually, this is to remind you that despite your bad day, you are still blessed. You still have a few amount in your wallet. And what little you have can actually brighten up someone's gloomy day.

In days like this, don't focus on your problem. Acknowledge it but don't live with it all throughout your 24 hours. Take time to hear the laughter and music that is surrounding you. Better yet, count your blessings and be a blessing to others on your way to feeling 100% okay, again.

What to Do When Meeting Unreasonable People (An encounter with the Unreasonable)

Earlier today, I prepared for my evening shift with so much enthusiasm. I am positive that this day will go steady and light. Few minutes after I started my shift, I was asked by our acting head nurse to assist a certain doctor when patients come because the assigned nurse is still not around. I said yes, of course.

While I was attending on a patient for Direct IV push antibiotic, our acting HN informed me to assist the doctor. I asked her if she could insert the IV and do the procedure so I can go to the doctor (of course when you relay a task, it simple means you have to start and finish it completely).

But low and behold! This is not what happened. After I assisted the doctor, I returned to my area and she was not there, but the patient is! All of a sudden she appeared, told me that she already inserted the IV line and I have to continue and finish the procedure! If you're me, at this point, how will you feel? Annoyed, angry, pissed off? Name it, I felt like a gush of blood ran into my head in a second. So I asked her calmly why she didn’t do the "pushing" by herself. You know her answer? Guess what? It's because she had to check her precious phone left opened somewhere, and go to the toilet for a very urgent pee! Hahaha. You just can't imagine how much I wanted to scream and say bad things. But the goodness in me prevailed and did otherwise. Thanks goodness!

I continued the procedure and finished it in a matter of 45 seconds. A lot of time to skip the toilet, right? (Insert sarcastic face here please!)

From my experience earlier, I came to a realization that they (the unreasonable people) are plenty, everywhere.

They hide themselves in white uniforms, black suit, or even on a friendly smile.

So just in case you meet this kind of creatures in unexpected moments in the future, here are some tips on how to deal with them. (Though some I forgot to do, honestly.)

During the Encounter:

1. Keep it still.

If you have to breathe in and count up to 10, and breathe out slowly, do it! It will be a chance for outburst and angry mood but don't get caught on the trap. Keep it cool! Coz most of the time, unreasonable people don't know that they did something unreasonable.

2. Don't talk too much.

Yes, for the sake of peace and quiet, don't try to enlighten him/her. Never explain nor tell him what the right thing to do is. He'll always reason out even to the most unbelievable rationale. (Remember the "my-phone-was-left-open-outside reason?) Moreover, not talking too much will save you from headache and high blood pressure. The act itself is already so much to taken in. Save yourself from drowning into madness because of other people. Who knows, he might figure out he did something wrong because of your silence.

Immediately after the encounter:

1. Take a break for a minute or two.

When you're a nurse, or at work, it's difficult to escape anytime to calm yourself. But try anyway. If you have to go outside and breathe some fresh air, please do so. It's difficult to concentrate with your tasks at hand with a heavy heart. A minute or two of delay is far better than continuing your job but not putting your mind fully into it. Don't get distracted, especially when you still have to run 7 hours of an 8-hour shift.

2. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

Analyze the situation holistically. Who knows, what is 'unreasonable' to you might be very reasonable for her.

In my case, who knows if she has some urinary problem that she really needed to prioritize nature's call than a patient assigned to her. Or her phone, maybe worth 3 months or more months of her savings that makes it more precious than the rest if the world. You'll never know.

Still try to understand the situation. It's not easy, believe me, but it will make you feel better. Especially when you could come up with a more out-of-this-world slash magical slash amazing slash unreasonable explanation.

Hours or a day after the encounter:

1. Share the incident to someone you trust, if you must.

Maybe, an hour or two after the encounter, when you have calmed yourself and your back to your momentum, you'll have the urge to talk about it to somebody you trust. But I must warn you, when you do so, make sure that it's not with a gossip girl. After all, it's a hot flash news at your workplace. Others may play at it like a blind item (which before the day ends, is revealed to everybody on the floor).

2. Forgive, Forget and Move on.

I know, it's better said than done, but come to think of it. If you hold on to it for a very long time, you'll just feel heavier  While the one who did it to you continue with her unreasonable, cool life. So, will you allow her to ruin the rest of you day? Of course, not! Forgive her anyway, it's not worth your time. Forget about it, there's still a lot of better things to deal with. And move on, a lot of more reasonable deeds can happen in 24-hours.

3. Hope and Pray.

Hope that better and more rewarding things will happen after the encounter. Yes, it was unreasonable and it's like 0 (zero), but from there, we can go to 1, 2, 3 and eventually 10 or more reasonable acts. Hope also that it was just a hump on the road, and that you'll not be stocked up with the same person again and again.

Pray. Thank God you did not freak out, and you becoming more reasonable in dealing with the situation. Pray that she may do better next time, or if not, at least pray that your path won't cross again.