28: Looking beyond the Number

 Whoa! Tick tock, tick tock said the biological clock! Most of us, including myself, is so alarmed when we hit this age! It's 18 and a decade! Have we (or I) done enough to tap our back, breathe in and tell ourselves we've done the most righteous thing for someone living in this era?

This segment is all about me, how I did in the past 27 years and how I am continuing my learning curve. Don't expect a lot, but I hope I can leave some learning as I do this.

I have always viewed life as tough and unpredictable. Let's say, I began to realize things later than earlier. I used to blame other people and circumstances as hindrances on my plans. I even reached a point when I asked the Big Man up there, why things do not fall into place - the way I expected them to be.

I finished school with flying colors. An achiever, an inspiration to many, expected to rise above others. (Or maybe it was just me?) After college, I passed the professional exam and international English test in just one take, with higher than average results.

See? I am supposed to be bound on better, more glorious future. But that did not happen (yet). I did my best in every way possible. I excelled on matters I put my energy into. However, because of my negative perspective and pessimistic attitude, it was so difficult for me to live a grateful, contented life. I used to focus on the not so good side of my day, only looking forward to some days I am with people I am happy to be with.

Nevertheless, I continued living my almost frustrating misery. 'This, too, shall pass" became my mantra.

As I turn 28, my life isn't still taking a full leap. So don't expect a Cinderella-like ending here. 😄 I am still climbing my way every single day. Nevertheless, certain things have changed through the years.

In 2013, at an age of 25, I decided to work in other countries and leave my comfort zone. A late bloomer as others call it. Starting when everybody else's already enjoying the fruit of their labor. I have worked in different industries in the past, and, this time, I want to focus on my profession. Something I have delayed for years that I almost forgot it. Working abroad is my escape.

This decision changed my point of view. I don't know if it's the culture, the circumstances or it really comes with age, but I am thankful that it happened.

Through the years, I have realized that I have no one to blame of my fortunes and misfortunes but myself. God, my parents, and friends will always want the best for me. It is I who would decide which best option to take. Looking back, there was never a time that my parents stopped me from doing the things I did. They would always support me even if it would cause them a lot. Something I haven't thought enough earlier, when I was still living at home, with them.

Partly, it is when I left the comforts of my home that I began to realize the things that truly makes life worth living. That, it is not the big things that determine happiness, but the little gestures of kindness and love.

Lately, through some good, old friends, I have known communities that helped me see life's journey in a more positive note. If I used to just ask and ask, and seldom give nor thank, now, I am turning over a new leaf. Believe it or not, tithing has been a part of my budget. I'm happier to be in the giving, and not on the receiving, end. I love the sound of "thank you" and "I love it" whenever I give people simple things. And hear this! I am excited with the idea of having a charity event organized when I get to come home next year. Also, I am planning to give first aid supplies in one monastery that I used to visit in our place. Again, I don't know if this comes with age. Nevertheless, this is going to be exciting! 

Let me just reiterate, I am not living a life to envy with, nor I am having things that people dream of! Most of the time, I am struggling to make both ends meet. Luckily, I am doing a better job of making these ends meet. I have learned the value of money, saving, and investing a part of it. Truly, it is not how much you make, but how you spend the least amount you have that matters. Let's just say, I am earning the minimum wage where I am working, but I am happy to say that I have kept a part of it every payday for saving and investing. It was a challenge at first, but it is rewarding in the long run.

I have learned to appreciate financial literacy books lately. From fiction novels, a big switch to millionaires 101! Their stories of humble beginnings and step by step climb to the top are just so inspiring! Sometimes, I think of doing it myself! Just imagine how cool my milestones would be if I reach what they've accomplished. And I am hopeful, I'll be like them, too! (That's my secret birthday wish actually! ^^)

So much has happened in the 27 years of my existence! And so much more will come as I enter my 28th year! Looking back, I am grateful for the good and the not so good that has happened to me, the glorious and embarrassing, the ups and the downs, the regrets and decisions made, the learnings and unlearning, the new knowledge and those that I should forget, the stagnant days and the busy ones, the laughter and the tears, the worst and the best days of my life, so far!

It is true that you'll never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. At this point, I can say that I am a better person than in the past. Or this is what I am trying to achieve. Hopefully, I will continue to widen my horizon and open my mind to inevitable changes. I hope my dreams and prayers are aligned to what God has planned for me.

Hear my birthday prayers of love and prosperity, oh, Lord! Your teachings and stories make me a better version of me. I am far from my goal self, I have so much to learn and know, but I am not giving up! Honestly, I am excited and looking forward to the days that will come. As long as You are on my side. I am holding on to your words - that everything is made possible in your time. Hopefully, I am on the right track! Slowly, I am on my way to being the person You want me to be. Thanks to You!

Bring it on 28th! You gotta be good to me! Or better yet, be exciting!