A Change of Heart

When you see this picture on the left, what comes into your mind? 

(A) a vast area of sand, not suitable for growing trees or plants, where human beings won't have much reason to enjoy life? 

(B) a wide region to explore, do something out of the ordinary and eventually grow to be a better you after bypassing the sands?

I bet, most people would answer letter A. It's not a lot. It doesn't have the dream destinations that other places offer. It is just this simple and boring desert for most people.

A few years ago, I traveled far for the very first time. I ended up in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Not the best destination, but I considered it as another thrilling adventure. Living in a new world, learning a new language, a shocking culture, and inhabited by several other nationalities. I told myself, this is going to be all new to me.

At first, I was enveloped with excitement and thrill to discover the place. The joy of discovering new things, food, people and words made my days. However, after several months, I have come to realize that there isn't much to see in this part of the world. It's a kingdom of men, where gender equality isn't recognized. Men rule, and women hide in their long, black clothes. 

It saddened me that I won't be able to do a lot of outdoor activities here. That is when reality came in. For a few months, all I wanted was to go home to my motherland. Homesickness hit me like the insane heat of the desert. I became moody, easily angered and worse, I lost the zest to enjoy the adventure.

This is going to be hopeless! This is just a desert. There is no growth in here. Boredom and homesickness will eat you alive. You think of quitting and you live each day like yesterday- nothing new!

Until one day, a realization moved me. I can't always wait for tomorrow, Christmas season, day- offs or in my case- vacation leave to be happy and enjoy life. I have to find ways in order to make this journey a learning experience. After all, this is not the end, this is just a bend in the road, a hump, a stepladder towards a bigger, brighter tomorrow.

That is when I turned my view from point A to point B. Of course, it did not happen in a blink of an eye. I had to do some things in order to make this transition:

1. When you wake up, remind yourself that today is a blessing.

Say a little prayer of thanksgiving for (1) you were able to open your eyes again (a privilege that is not given to everybody this morning), (2) you have the opportunity to make a living and save for future adventures, (3) you and your family back home are safe and healthy, (4) you have the chance to make someone feel better today, (5) Today, you're a day closer to coming home.

The list can go on and on. The moment you train yourself to focus on the good side of today, it will be a lot easier to get up and face it. Again, it will take some time to get used to this, but it will be all worth it.

2. Never compare yourself with other people's success.

This has eaten me so many times in the past. Through social media, we now have easier access to other people's lives. Most of the time, your wall will be flooded with celebrations and moments that you currently isn't experiencing. And the next thing you know, you feel bad because while they are celebrating, here you are, tied to your bed, letting the day pass without moving a muscle.

Trust your own pace. This may sound cliche, but there is still some truth in it.  Most of the time, people will only announce the fruit of their labor- the medal and trophies, but never the labor or hard work that comes with it. Surely, every success does not come easy.  Learn to realize that they, too, had to strive and experience defeat before achieving glory. 

Who knows, you're just experiencing some difficulty now, and soon, your medals and trophies will appear just when you expect it the least. 

3. Feel good about yourself.

Develop the habit of feeling good. Smile in front of the mirror, exercise for a few minutes every day, cook your favorite food or make other people happy. Do something that your future self will thank you for. Remember, this is not the end of your life's adventure. Why not make each day count, no matter how bad they can get.

If feeling good means watching the most childish movie there is, by all means go for it! Nobody will judge you for doing so. All they see is the positive aura that you radiate when you feel good on the inside.

4.  Share what you feel or think.

Yes, moving from point A to B will be a lot easier when you do this with the aid of some reliable people.  If then, I used to keep everything to myself, now I have learned the benefits of sharing this with my most trusted friends. True friends will never judge you, they are the best listeners and confidante.  

When you spill the bad feelings to someone you trust, you feel better after sharing it. At times, you even laugh at it upon knowing that you're not alone in your struggle. Your friend may have experienced the same thing before. And the best that can happen is when you will be able to come up with a solution on how to make things better.

5. Read inspirational books.

Or any other book that you want to read. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie has helped me a lot. It is an eye-opener for me. I want to share with you some striking lines that I got from this book:

- The blackest moments we live through can only last a little time- and then comes the future...

- Cooperate with the inevitable. 

- There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. (Epictetus)

- Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said, the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell, too.

- The remedy for worry is to get completely occupied doing something constructive.

- Don't cry over spilt milk.

- Live in a"Day-tight Compartment".

After mastering these things, I have come to realize that where I am is not only comprised of sands and tons of it. When I directed my point of view in a different direction, I saw this: 

The fun-loving people, the picture perfect view, the moments when you jump for joy! I guess, there is so much more to this desert than the unending sea of sands it shows to the outside world. It just needs a change of heart.