Three and That's It!

Three long years in the kingdom! Just wow! And I am so glad that it's almost over. All that is left to do now is to pray that things will go smoothly, and we will be sent home sooner. 

This adventure is just too long for somebody who loves change and gets bored being stocked in the same old routine for three long years. Nevertheless, I made it this far. It wasn't easy at first, and it still isn't a piece of cake now that it's about to end. I'm just glad that I'm almost beginning a new chapter.

I read once that the last mile seems to be the longest. Truly, a day after I ended my contract, hours seem to crawl slower than a caterpillar does. It feels like I have no reason to go to work and do what I used to do. I want to scream, vent out every bits and pieces of frustration that burdens me, question why I have to go through all these when all I ever wanted is a life comfortable enough for me and my family. But by the end of the day, this won't give me any benefit. I can scream, shout, cry a river, but the reality stays - I am here and feeling sorry won't help me get out of here.

Instead, I continue my day. Be proactive! Says Stephen Covey. Control what is in you circle of influence and worry not about those that aren't. When I read this tip, I first thought, it's very simple. But when you're on a situation when everything around seems gloomy and gray, Aaaah! It is too difficult - a challenging one, even just thinking of happy thoughts.

This experience has thought me so much. It isn't a fun ride nor something I want to pass by again. It isn't something to be proud of, nor a route to recommend to other people. Still, it's a journey I chose to tackle  years ago (and I regret most of the time). Luckily, I am able to survive it though I didn't learn to love some of its days.

Upon remembering what I have been through, I can't help but get teary-eyed, feeling down and sorry. Imagine working for six days a week, a day off that isn't really a rest day because you have to do all chores, go to the market, clean your room, change the linens, cook your meal, etc. And then, another week starts. Sometimes you get tired and wanted to stop, just lie in your bed or go somewhere and forget everything, but you can't!

You. Just. Can't! 1. Because this is not home. 2. I am a woman, and in this part of the world, women can't drive a car nor travel alone due to fear that something bad might happen. 3. Where I work does not permit us to go outside without permission even during our day off. It should always be with the company car/driver, at a limited time. Some may think this is better. But if you've lived with it for a year or two, I tell you, it's not! It's like being imprisoned for no reason at all.

Looking at the brighter side of things - a habit that I am almost mastering the longer I stay here, there are some positive light in this rocky adventure. It's not all dark and sorrowful, it actually made me think things over. It's quiet long and agonizing, at least, it became an avenue for me to know more people and learn other culture.

In three years, I have learned that having a conservative nation does not equal conservative people. That no matter how you cover a person's body, she will make way to show it when nobody will reprimand her. That there are those who pray several times in a day and commit sins thereafter. That no religion is better than the rest. And whether you like it or not, you must show respect.

I have also learned not to trust instantly. Because even those you think will defend you in times of need will abandon you. Never speak up and spill everything at once, gossips travel faster than the speed of light. Your version of the story is far from what others will believe, still, don't tire yourself from explaining your side. They'll only believe what they think is convenient for them. Most importantly, make friends with your co-workers but don't allow them to misuse nor abuse your goodness. It's human nature to take advantage and act like it's nothing when opportunities arise.

No man is an island. Yet, no man will put other people's need before there own (in this part of the world). I have learned to understand that we all work to live and stay. I often tell myself, I am not driven by monetary gain. I am here for experience and training. Something that only a few can comprehend.

In a world ran by power and money, even your colleagues will try to rob you of your possessions. Jealousy and crab mentality is so rampant that you can just seat back and watch them pull each other down. Unfortunately, sometimes, no matter how much you stay away from all the drama, you're being pushed nearer to the ring. Something, I don't want to live with for the rest of my life.

When I started this journey, I dreamed of great food, comfortable rooms, friendly smiles, happy days and fun-filled lessons. The last three years has made me realize otherwise. Being away from home isn't a bed of roses. It is neither a colorful walk in the park nor a peaceful biking experience. It is actually dark, gloomy and rocky most of the days.

Just like they often say, stay focus on that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. Where I am maybe dark and cold, but my faith tells me, the tunnel is about to end. I'm almost there and I'll come out a 'brighter' person - radiating with so much zest for life, when I quit not.