Strong. Independent.You.Are

My strong, independent persona is deeply rooted to my past learning and present realizations. It is not always due to impulse nor pride but more of, "I have learned my lesson." 

I decide based on experiences and other people's knowledge of what might go right or wrong if I do this or that. The question I always ask myself is, " What is the right thing to do?" at the moment. And more often than not, I am led to the most epic of life's highlights.

You see, all my life I have given full attention and importance to other people's opinion or instruction. It has always been a wait-and-see if he/she agrees. I have acknowledged other's lives and end up waiting for nothing.

Maybe that is why, as I age, I want to make this more about me and what I want to do than what he/she might have to say. Selfish others might see it; but as long as I feel good about something and not becoming a burden, I think I am in the right mind to do things that I want to do. 

Even walking in the rain, or going out when the weather is bad seems looked with a questioning face of, "Are you serious?". Most probably, it is because the general population, or the normal minds, would rather stay in bed and do the usual. Oh well, the last time I checked, I am a deviant.

Maybe, just maybe, I am tired of hearing other people's opinion or waiting for them to act out with me. Maybe, I had enough of procrastinations, assumptions and negativity that I now prefer to surround myself with good vibes. 

At some point, there is a downside to this mentality, but I want to look at it with optimism and a brave heart. I am not strong and independent for a minute reason, I am who I am because I believe that life should be spent not totally to please others, instead, to make the most out of what you are offered.

So the next time you are told - "It's not enjoyable to go out on a rainy day!", by all means go! And say, I used to enjoy getting wet when I was a child, and I still have that child in me at heart.

Or when somebody stops you from trying something out of the ordinary, keep in mind that life is a big adventure, and only those who really try, lives.

Or when you are thrown with a look of weirdness for throwing a party for others on your birthday, never mind and continue touching other people's lives. It is not every day when you are given the opportunity to help out.

And most importantly, when ifs and what ifs hinder you from going somewhere, plan and take your essentials with you, and if it so happens that no one wants to accompany you, still continue; along the way, you'll meet the right people who have the same interest as you.

Believe me, it feels so right to accomplish something on your own. ;)



NOTE: This is an output made in a nearby cafe under the light rain; and in between sips of warm lemon juice. Thus, the picture. :)

No gifts. No problem

Less than three hours before calling it a day, I have not received any material birthday gift. No chocolates, no cakes, no boxes wrapped in fancy papers. No one handed me a piece of anything that is generally considered a symbol of love and appreciation.

If I were 20 years old, I would be in my bed, closing the doors and assuming a fetal position. If it were not for the lessons I have learned, I would be crying my heart and feeling so lonely and neglected. If I had not experienced hardships or saw other people struggle, the absence of wrapped, tangible presents would have made me ask the Big Man “why”.

I am thankful that that’s not the case. I may not have received anything that resembles possession and monetary wealth, but I certainly feel that I am rich.

I am rich because of the friends that encircle me. Compared to others, I have a very small circle of friends whom I consider real, truthful brothers and sisters. These people enrich my life with laughter and understanding of what good times really mean. They have been my positive energy in a world full of negativity. I am rich because I have a few, but never absent backups when circumstances drag me down.

I am rich because I have the capacity to help others. I am not saying this means I get to lend other people cash, rather; I am in a position to serve people in different ways every single day. Education, good parenting and keen observation have made me realize the significance of helping even in the simplest of opening the door for an elderly, listening to a friend’s story and being an advocate for someone who needs assistance. 

I am rich because I have a family who’s always there for me. We do not always live a comfortable life. In fact, my parents have struggled a lot in order to provide for our daily needs. Despite the hardships, my parents have never wavered in supporting us with our endeavors, helping us every step of the way; making sure that we are given the right push as we journey in life. My parents never complained and I have never felt very poor because they shower us with all that they have - food, shelter, comfort, care, and lots of love.

I am rich because of my experiences. I have through so many wonderful and lesson-filled encounters in the past few years. Although not all of them are worthy of being remembered, nor proudly broadcasted, all in all, my experiences have been an important element in molding me to become a person who understands that not everything comes in silver platter. Most of the time, the sweetest victory comes from measured patience and battles fought harder.

I am very rich because of Him. All glory is always brought back to the big Man up there. I can’t think of the right words to say; but one thing is for sure - I am rich and will be richer and stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially because of His providence. Never forsaken, never forgotten, always loved and cared.

Maybe, just maybe, this mindset has to come with age. Nonetheless, I am thankful that I take this way. No hard feelings. No bitterness. No expectations. No gifts. No problem.

What I learned and still learning

I am very new to what has always been a hot topic for ages – relationships.  You see, I had my first serious commitment at the age of 30. Woohoo! That’s for the books. :D But looking at the brighter side, I am thankful that I did not have to deal with the aches brought about by “love life” at an earlier age, rather, I was able to enjoy a lot of “me” time before engaging in another time-consuming, mind-boggling, attention-seeking engagement.

Several months into a relationship that is rooted in friendship, I can fairly say that I have learned so much about me and how different men are. Although, mine took some time to finally end up being a real commitment, I can say that it came when I am almost ready for it.

Men shows love in a different way. This is one thing I have realized earlier in this relationship. While women like a lot of time spent with them, sweet words, and out-of-the-movie scenarios, men always keep it real; or just my man, maybe. But yes, he or they prioritize different things at different times and you are not always on top of the list. Although they think of you, I presume, I guess they tend to enjoy life in the company of different individuals whom they are accustomed to even before you came into their life.

Men say a few words or sometimes keep issues hanging. It will be resolved in due time as they believe so. My man listens to my rants, my complaints, my “emotional instability”, but only when he is so fed up that he answers back. And most of time, he makes me realize that I am neither a saint nor the victim. Rather, I am the one who should understand and become less dramatic because really, there is no issue at all.

Men express love more through actions. My man shows it by making simple gestures that might seem unnoticeable at first glance. Like fetching me from work, letting me have the first taste of his cooked meal, or simply bringing me fruits which I really love. Simple gestures and nothing romantic but I guess, they make this relationship less complicated. I mean, you don’t have to be so attached to a material thing that reminds you of him day in and day out. You simply have the confidence that you have someone out there who belongs to you and vice versa.

Men despite their age will always have vices that you have to deal with. Generally speaking, there will always be something that they can’t let go of. Some or most of it you might not approve of but maybe, just maybe, you have to learn to live with it or at least help them minimize spending so much time with these stuffs. Ours passed by a rocky road when we began, or is still passing it sometimes, because of the things that he enjoys doing. However, time taught me that these things are far less dangerous than other women, and with that mindset, I calm down. As long as it does not involve cheating, we are good.

What I have learned and the things that I will continuously learn in this thing called love is still a long way to go. Nevertheless, I am glad that I am at this stage- discovering, realizing and making new experiences. I hope and pray that whatever, or wherever, this relationship leads us, it will be something that we can forever cherish as individuals. #BestyWins

Thirty one and Blessed

It has been a habit for me to write something when my birthday is approaching. Honestly, I can’t come up with any topic to focus on lately. Maybe, I am at a state when everything seems to go really well that I cannot think of words to put it in. Nevertheless, the tradition continues – I write whatever that comes to mind. ;)

My thirtieth year has literally been a year of changes. Living with the hashtag #GoOrNoGo2018 has helped me to become more decisive. Although at times I still have doubts on what to do, but at least I have conditioned myself to look at my goal and work towards it. I am not at my best state, but I can say that I am happy where I am and where I am going as I turn thirty one.

I still have a lot of dreams to pursue. Distance to travel and lessons to learn. But I thank God for putting me in unwanted situations in the past, for allowing me to meet the friendly and not-so-friendly people along the way. I guess, it is because of these that I have developed composure and calmness despite the pressure. The mindset of “this too shall pass”, and “it’s all in the mind” aided me in radiating good vibes instead of negativity.

My 30 years of life experiences has molded me to become the better version of me. Not the best, I repeat, but someone who’s willing to learn or unlearn, laugh or give a wise advice, make a noise or remain quiet when the situation asks for it; and hold on or let go. The circumstances that I have been to, made a great impact on how I value life, laughter, and love.

Now that I am turning thirty-one, I can’t help but be thankful for I am truly blessed. The Big Man up there has never forsaken me. With persistence, hard work and His divine providence, I have never felt abandoned. He was, is, will always be there for me and for the people I care for. Thank You. You are the reason behind every success, learning, triumph and detours that has led me to the right path.

I hope and pray that this year will be my “Go” year. Go for better job opportunities and career development. Go for more distance to travel and places to see. Go for more people to bless and share blessings with. Go for wonderful memories and new experiences. Go for stability and self-contentment.

I still have a lot to go through; but I am ready for I am confident that I have Him, my family, friends and loved ones to push me when the going gets tough. ;)