My Thoughts

 It’s been days since we finally decided,
Said goodbye and ended.
Cried my heart out and accepted

You’d leave—you’d already decided.

Why so quick? You left in a click.
I don’t know if that was really a commitment.
Why make me believe, then vanish?
I guess it’s me—maybe I’m selfish.

It’s hard not having you.
It’s harder, navigating life again solo.
It’s hardest because the love was not enough;
I thought we could jive, for we were both tough.

Sleepless nights and pain I endure.
Day by day, it takes so much to thrive.
It’s suffocating; my stomach’s churning.
I don’t know if I can still be genuinely smiling.

I did not chase, I did not beg.
I did not think you could do this to me, and yet—
Here I am, trying to take it all in,
Lost for words, nowhere to begin.

You were my strength, in case you didn’t know.
You were my comfort on days so low.
You were my safe space, my one and only.
You were my love—my answered prayer from the Almighty.

I guess it’s all in the past now.
I guess I have to accept, and down I bow.
After all, you believe I was the cause of it all—
That I wasn’t into you, that I couldn’t give my all.

I will endure this chapter of hurt and pain.
I will keep on living, simple and plain.
I’ll tell myself I’m doing this for you, for your peace,
So you can live a better life without me in it.

It will take a while for the feelings to fade.
I don’t know how, or when I won’t remember your name.
Unlearning you and what we used to do is a struggle
I face every single day, trying to hurdle.

At times, I want to believe this is all a bad dream,
That you’ll still come to my place, for real.
How I wish we were still together—
To fulfill our plans and dreams, go through life braver.

A part of me still wants to have you back.
My heart says, “Win him again, one more chance.”
But I know that won’t help you; that’s selfish of me.
So I’ll try my hardest—I am setting you free.

-DJS 

4th Oct '25

(when all I have is a pen and paper to express it all)