Three and That's It!

Three long years in the kingdom! Just wow! And I am so glad that it's almost over. All that is left to do now is to pray that things will go smoothly, and we will be sent home sooner. 

This adventure is just too long for somebody who loves change and gets bored being stocked in the same old routine for three long years. Nevertheless, I made it this far. It wasn't easy at first, and it still isn't a piece of cake now that it's about to end. I'm just glad that I'm almost beginning a new chapter.

I read once that the last mile seems to be the longest. Truly, a day after I ended my contract, hours seem to crawl slower than a caterpillar does. It feels like I have no reason to go to work and do what I used to do. I want to scream, vent out every bits and pieces of frustration that burdens me, question why I have to go through all these when all I ever wanted is a life comfortable enough for me and my family. But by the end of the day, this won't give me any benefit. I can scream, shout, cry a river, but the reality stays - I am here and feeling sorry won't help me get out of here.

Instead, I continue my day. Be proactive! Says Stephen Covey. Control what is in you circle of influence and worry not about those that aren't. When I read this tip, I first thought, it's very simple. But when you're on a situation when everything around seems gloomy and gray, Aaaah! It is too difficult - a challenging one, even just thinking of happy thoughts.

This experience has thought me so much. It isn't a fun ride nor something I want to pass by again. It isn't something to be proud of, nor a route to recommend to other people. Still, it's a journey I chose to tackle  years ago (and I regret most of the time). Luckily, I am able to survive it though I didn't learn to love some of its days.

Upon remembering what I have been through, I can't help but get teary-eyed, feeling down and sorry. Imagine working for six days a week, a day off that isn't really a rest day because you have to do all chores, go to the market, clean your room, change the linens, cook your meal, etc. And then, another week starts. Sometimes you get tired and wanted to stop, just lie in your bed or go somewhere and forget everything, but you can't!

You. Just. Can't! 1. Because this is not home. 2. I am a woman, and in this part of the world, women can't drive a car nor travel alone due to fear that something bad might happen. 3. Where I work does not permit us to go outside without permission even during our day off. It should always be with the company car/driver, at a limited time. Some may think this is better. But if you've lived with it for a year or two, I tell you, it's not! It's like being imprisoned for no reason at all.

Looking at the brighter side of things - a habit that I am almost mastering the longer I stay here, there are some positive light in this rocky adventure. It's not all dark and sorrowful, it actually made me think things over. It's quiet long and agonizing, at least, it became an avenue for me to know more people and learn other culture.

In three years, I have learned that having a conservative nation does not equal conservative people. That no matter how you cover a person's body, she will make way to show it when nobody will reprimand her. That there are those who pray several times in a day and commit sins thereafter. That no religion is better than the rest. And whether you like it or not, you must show respect.

I have also learned not to trust instantly. Because even those you think will defend you in times of need will abandon you. Never speak up and spill everything at once, gossips travel faster than the speed of light. Your version of the story is far from what others will believe, still, don't tire yourself from explaining your side. They'll only believe what they think is convenient for them. Most importantly, make friends with your co-workers but don't allow them to misuse nor abuse your goodness. It's human nature to take advantage and act like it's nothing when opportunities arise.

No man is an island. Yet, no man will put other people's need before there own (in this part of the world). I have learned to understand that we all work to live and stay. I often tell myself, I am not driven by monetary gain. I am here for experience and training. Something that only a few can comprehend.

In a world ran by power and money, even your colleagues will try to rob you of your possessions. Jealousy and crab mentality is so rampant that you can just seat back and watch them pull each other down. Unfortunately, sometimes, no matter how much you stay away from all the drama, you're being pushed nearer to the ring. Something, I don't want to live with for the rest of my life.

When I started this journey, I dreamed of great food, comfortable rooms, friendly smiles, happy days and fun-filled lessons. The last three years has made me realize otherwise. Being away from home isn't a bed of roses. It is neither a colorful walk in the park nor a peaceful biking experience. It is actually dark, gloomy and rocky most of the days.

Just like they often say, stay focus on that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. Where I am maybe dark and cold, but my faith tells me, the tunnel is about to end. I'm almost there and I'll come out a 'brighter' person - radiating with so much zest for life, when I quit not.

#RandomThoughts

There is more to life than questioning why. 

Today might not be as good as yesterday, nor as cheerful as the pasts few days that we celebrated, but take note that today is your present. It is the moment that you may either look back with gratitude or regret. Therefore, choose the wisest thing to do. 

Choose the one that could add colors into your days. Don't dwell too much on the not-so-good parts of today. Rather, make every opportunity a blessing. 

In times of trouble, think that the Big Man is just reminding you to turn on Him. Seek God's guidance and strength in every action that you take.

Weary days are blessings in disguise. How? It is in these days that you can measure your strength. It is in these days that you make life-changing decisions. Five to ten years from now, you'll look back and feel good because that moment helped you become a better version of you. 

Moreover, good days are also blessings. Not only for you but also for those who surrounds you. It is the time in your life when you can be an inspiration to others. 

Be a humble example that dreams do come true, and that good days are just around the corner. 

I know things are easier said than done. But definitely, it can be done.



#RandomThoughts  10:40 06.15.2014

Sandcastles

Once t'was built with sands,
Under the hit of the sun.
On a summer afternoon,
Little by little molded by hands.

Started with a simple figure,
Eventually formed into a castle.
It all went well, impressive actually,
No one noticed- it was made quickly.

From a plain grain of sand,
Into beauty added in the land.
Lights and colors were placed
to enlighten people's face.

Some said it's dangerous,
Sandcastles aren't made for chaos.
For after summer it ends,
In the vast ocean, it blends.

Truly, after some time,
It became a common site to find.
One tried to reach, bring back its glow,
But time allowed the sands to flow.

After some time, seasons change.
Not all survive, only the brave.
Even the castle made of mere sand,
the waves of the ocean it can't stand.

Water slowly carried most of its part,
Though it fought to stay until the dark.
To no avail, the waves' stronger,
The castle is now nowhere to find - it's over.

Yes, it's gone but never forgotten,
By those who witnessed, and cared.
For once it gave joy on a summer day,
Where others have built memories and play.

The lesson it gave is something to ponder.
That for things to last it needs something better.
Not a weak sand, nor just the sunshine.
But a strong
will that could stand time.

It DOESN"T Matter!

The income you earn, the awards you gain, the amount of love you receive, the people you care about, the life you live - these things do matter to most of us, if not to everyone. But come to think of it, there are things we consider significant that don't really have to matter at all.

It doesn't matter if you start from the bottom. Just don't stay there forever. 

It doesn't matter if you start late. Than never. 

 It doesn't matter if you can't please other people. Please yourself and the rest will follow. 

It doesn't matter if you fall seven times. Just stand up eight. 

It doesn't matter if you headed in the wrong direction, at first. Just take a 
U-turn and make it right.

It doesn't matter if you gave a disagreeable opinion. It's an opinion and you're entitled to it.

It doesn't matter if you gave up on your first try. You can always try another time.

It doesn't matter if you still believe in fairies, unicorns and magic even at age  30. It's healthy to think of happy thoughts once in a while in this fast changing world.

It doesn't matter if you don't believe in fairies, unicorns and magic, either. But never stop dreaming and making them your reality. It won't make you less of a person.

It doesn't matter if you only keep a few sets of clothes in your wardrobe. One, it's space- saving. Two, it's economical. Three, the lists can go on.

It doesn't matter if you did something embarrassing in front of a crowd. Smile. Regain yourself. Laugh at it. Don't take yourself too seriously.

It doesn't matter if you have a flat nose, chinky eyes, or dark lips. Make-up can do wonders. And remember: True beauty comes from within.

It doesn't matter if you laugh so hard. At the right place. At the right time. 

It doesn't matter if you're out of tune. It doesn't always have to be a competition.

It doesn't matter if you cry over silly things. But please, don't let it ruin your whole day. It can either be hormones or hormones.

It doesn't matter if you only have 1 or 2 bestfriends. They are chosen thoroughly. Tested and proven.

It doesn't matter if you like puppies more than kids. You don't dislike them that much, right?

It doesn't matter if you're almost thirty without a baby. Right timing, baby! 

It doesn't matter if you deviate from the norm. There is no concrete rule on how to live life. Take your time. Enjoy the moment! 

It doesn't matter if you splurge and indulge in the things that make you happy. But never maximize your limit. Save some for future use.

It doesn't matter if you express yourself differently. It's OK to be who you are. Just don't sacrifice other people's comfort.

It doesn't matter if you love more than one. More than one hobby, friend, family, or community. Nothing more.

It doesn't matter if you have sleepless nights. Even it out by having "wakeless" days. Sleep, and get more sleep from time to time.

It doesn't matter if it took you a long time to realize your passion. While you are alive, there'll always be a room for improvement.

It doesn't matter if you didn't follow the manual religiously. Ever heard about " Serendipity"?

It doesn't matter if you find these stuffs disagreeable. We agree to disagree.

Wishful Thinking

Just want to put some thoughts in writing

One thing, since grade school, I haven’t forgotten.

None at the moment, special I really feel.

Just my playful, wishful thinking in reel.

More than anything else, I wanna be with you.

Whenever, wherever, enjoy life ‘til we get through.

It’s us, not you and me.

Let’s just say were bound by destiny.

We’ll walk the world together hand in hand.

Go to Australia whenever we can.

Visit the natives of Korea, or better yet Uganda. :)

And enjoy site seeing in the beautiful New Caledonia.

What about experience the waves of Cam. Sur.?

The green fields of NZ we’ll love for sure.

Of course, Europe will be on the list.

Add to that our very own Bora, the best!

When we feel like rushing, feeling exciting

Without doubt, together we’ll do white water rafting.

Or how about join the group in mountaineering?

Or just climb up, and down thru bungee jumping?

After the rush, we’ll together slow down.

Walk the path to the island of Macau.

White sand beaches, cold breeze of Batanes,

Or take a joy ride to Baguio or Batangas instead.

And when days aren’t convenient for out-of towns,

We’ll still enjoy even if we’re time- bound.

We’ll start the day together with a jog at the park,

And end up with sumptuous, even just egg and bread, breakfast.

We won’t forget to watch some rented movies on a weekend

Action? Drama? Comedy/? Or how about suspense?

It doesn’t matter as long as we’re side-by-side.

Enjoying popcorn or anything we have in mind.

And when stress, frustration sets

We’ll just sit quietly, I lying on your chest.

One will speaks while the other listens

‘til we understand what we’re truly feelin’.

Of course, we’ll count both days to months, and months to years.

We’ll together celebrate life and remain so dear.

For we know that there’s two less lonely people,

That love has arrived and being welcomed home.

Too good to be true, yes that is.

For ‘til now, I haven’t found if he really there is.

Love! Love! Love! They say don’t come easy,

And that those who wait will soon be merry.

I’m not sure if he’s really coming sooner or later

Or if someone’s really meant to join me in my travel

A man, not a boy, who will complete my being.

And will turn into reality my once upon a time wishful thinking.

^_^

An Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

How do you do?

Maybe, you're a bit surprise upon receiving my letter. If I were in your shoe, this would be a shock, too. 

I just thought of writing you after reading a letter, online, addressed to you. It came from a 45-year old  man. So I thought, I'm never too old to ask you for something. After all, you love good kids and kids at heart. 

Santa, you have occupied most memories of my childhood Christmas days. As a matter of fact, you almost became the center of every child's Christmas. When in fact, it should be the child in the manger who was born on Christmas eve. Nevertheless, you made lots of children have a merry Christmas by sending them toys wrapped in colorful boxes. (Thanks to your reindeers, you were able to reach children all around the world. )

But are you for real, Santa Claus? Real or not, it doesn't matter. As long as you make a child or two happy, Santa Claus will always be a significant part of every Christmas celebration.

It has been years since I asked something from you. It's because, as an adult, I have learned that there is One bigger gift-giver who showers us with unlimited blessings - Christmas time or not. The Child who was born in a manger, who exactly is the reason why there are Christmas celebrations worldwide - Jesus Christ.

Nevertheless, it's still worth a try. For this year Santa, my wish is not for me, but for the young generation who needs you more. 

Please extend your good deeds to the less fortunate children around the world. Let your presence be felt among troubled nations. The hopeless refugees who had to run for their lives, the children who lost their parents at a young age due to war, those who were left with a parent because one of them needs to serve their country for peace. During this time, don't make them feel left behind, alone nor ignored. Shower them with your happy vibes and even for a short time, let them hear your contagious laugh.

On the other hand, I wish for extended quality time for children who are privileged to have a complete family. May their parents bring these kids closer to you and child Jesus. Let them realize that life outside online games and social media is far better. Let them play with you like a child. Let them laugh, dance, and sing with you with innocence, contentment and love. Let them feel the true meaning of sharing, giving and receiving because they have been good boys and girls this year. 

I'm not asking for much, right Santa? I hope you can do something about my wishes. I want to believe that I've been a good child of Jesus this year. Since you love whom He loves, then there's a big probability that you love me, too! 

Have a great time sending gifts this Christmas season, Santa Claus! In case you find the time to talk to Jesus, please hug Him for me and say, 'Your children are happy for Your shower of blessings all year round!' 


Your believer, 

dextran

P.S. If you happen to bump into someone you believe is my soulmate, please send him to my address. Don't bother to have him wrapped or boxed, it's totally fine. 

Copiers and Paper Jams

A photocopier is a machine that produces clear, black and white copies of images (though time has evolved it into something that can do other things.) It is simple to operate, fast and easy to deal with. 

Sometimes, I can't help but compare friendship (and the opposite) with these copying machines. 

The whole copying system is you and the people that surrounds you are the bond of papers being loaded into the bin. The master copy are the personalities and attitude that you are looking for a friend, or anything you have in common perhaps.

Whenever you meet someone new, you load a paper, click the print button and you get a copy. Clearly, like a copy, your friends show you a part of them. The process it takes from clicking the print button to producing an image is the same with the troubles and undertakings you and your friends have to go through in order to create a perfect image of fun and good times.

It looks good in the outside, but little did people know that you had to endure changes and undertakings so you can build this kind of bond. As long as everything is going on smoothly, you can produce more copies, more friends.

So what happens to these papers? Most of the time, they are saved for important matters. They serve as files and proofs of memories and good times. They are constant reminders, that whatever happens, you have something valuable.

However, without you knowing it, you meet the wrong kind of people in your lifetime. They appear to be neat and clean just like the rest. There are times when they even look better, whiter and more sincere, so you insert them in your copy bin without a second thought. You click OK and start printing. And that is when the true nature of these people surface.

The one you thought that's neat and clean actually has crumpled edges not suitable for your machine, either it's a factory defect or is made by outside forces. Nevertheless, it caused a paper jam.

When the paper jam occurs, the once smooth system starts to halt and create an unfamiliar sound of warning. Then from their comes problems. At first you may be in denial and think that the machine is just adjusting, doing its thing to survive the interruption. But later, you accept the reality that something unwanted just occurred- a paper jam, a system failure. 

At this moment, you formulate ways on how to go about it. First, you stop printing and then examine the machine. You open the drawers and look where the issue come from. 

Sooner or later, you see a piece of paper- stained and crumpled, inside the machine. The same paper you once thought is clean, neat and suits your needs. However, it's there- stocked!

So what do you do next? For you to make your machine work smoothly and easily again, you have to do the right thing- take it out from the system, and be sure to take them all - completely. Don't let it stay there longer because no matter what, it's a nuisance and it does not serve its purpose anymore. 

So where does this crumpled paper go? Simply said, it is directly thrown into the trash bin.

Only at this point when you can resume with the tasks at hand. Forget about the crumpled ones and focus your attention to those that creates clear, vivid images that you always wanted.

Life and the people that surround us can be like this, too. Not all of them have to be included in our circle. There are a few we can trust and handle, but along the way, we have to "dump" some in the trash bin. Not only because they are "trashes" but also for us to preserve our smooth sailing system. 

As for me, although I bump into some paper-jam-causing creatures at times, I  am glad to say that I have learned the habit of examining what I exactly needed before putting them into my machine. Honestly, I learned this the hard way, but who cares!? As long as after the halt, I resumed my smooth- sailing way.